Back in 2011 Corina Lawson published the original list of reasons children could reasonably interrupt a writing mother (or father). I love that list. It’s cute, and funny, and spot on. Nothing short a full zombie apocalypse should interrupt an author on a deadline. However, some of the jokes were bound to go over my kids’ heads. So I present you with the the Top Ten Allowable Reasons To Interrupt A Parent While They’re Working 2.0
Reasons You Can Interrupt Me While I’m Writing
1) If there’s a zombie apocalypse you may knock. One or two zombies do not qualify. You should be able to handle a couple of slow-moving zombies with shovels.
2) If there is an alien invasion… In this instance, the invasion is only worthy of interrupting Mom if New York City, Los Angeles, and Washington D.C. have already been destroyed. If our city is under threat you may stick a note under the door.
3) If a Jedi appears telling you are the Chosen One meant to bring balance to the force, you may knock. All Sith may be shot on sight. If Leia Organa appears you may open the door while screaming with joy as is appropriate
4) If time is altered. In some instances, this may erase either the child or Mom’s existence, in which case the problem solves itself. However, if any of your siblings or your
father have been erased from the time stream, Mom needs to know right away. Ditto if duplicate or evil twins arrive.
5) If Indiana Jones, Han Solo, or Gandalf is at the door you may come get mom immediately. If it’s the someone wanting to talk about Hogwarts tuition, please tell them we aren’t interested. You can go to a public school and learn magic from the internet like everyone else.
6) If you find a strange ring with foreign writing on it that can make you invisible. Probably the best thing to do in this case is alert Mom. We’ll discuss the pros and cons of taking over the world.
7) If a Vulcan appears wanting to make First Contact. Secure the Vulcan and do not start an interstellar war. Remember not to shake their hand. You may take the spaceship out for a spin while you’re waiting for mom. If it’s the crew of the Enterprise get mom immediately.
8) If your math homework rips apart the fabric of time and space, you may tell Mommy. Do not let the baby go through the ensuing portal without a rope attached. If you choose to go adventuring without telling Mommy you are responsible for any world-ending nightmares you create and you are not allowed to whine about cleaning up the mess.
9) If an extra-terrestial rocket ship crash lands in the backyard with a baby inside. Tell Mom to bring milk and some blue and red blankets. If the ship only has Rocket and Groot, go play outside with them.
10) Interrupt Mom if a chunk of ice with a handsome blond man in a military uniform floats by.