The Care And Keeping Of Introverts

I am an extrovert.

There’s no getting around this fact. As much as I hate get dressed, dragging myself out of the house, and going to see other people I love it. I thrive on conversations. I enjoy meeting new people. I honestly want to hear your life story and have never met a boring person.

The rest of my family… they’re mostly introverts.

They don’t like peopling. They don’t enjoy leaving the house. They really cannot make themselves interested in your baseball collection, no matter how polite they try to be.

And, during most of the year, my beloved introverts get a break from the noise and chaos of humanity. But during the holidays? Oh. No. During the holidays there are parties, people stopping by, and plans. And, possibly the worst part, is we have a family with six people and when everyone is home and stuffed into the living room that’s a lot of noise and peopling for an introvert. It doesn’t matter if they’re family, by the 300th time someone has muttered about Minecraft you are ready to deck someone.

This is why I have developed an elaborate system of keeping my beloved introverts alive, social, and happy through the holidays, and I thought you might like some nice tips on how to keep the introverts you love (or yourself) sane this holiday season.

1. Don’t Overbook – sure, there’s a lot of fun things to do this time of year, but you really don’t need to do all of them. Pick 1 out of every 5. And, if it was kinda boring last year, don’t repeat the event in the name of tradition.
2. Mandatory Quiet Time – it doesn’t matter if you nap, draw, play a video game, read a book, or stare at the wall there is a mandatory quiet period after lunch every day. This applies for summer and winter breaks and doesn’t change if grandparents are visiting. My kids don’t nap, but giving them an hour or two of chore-free time to sit and read a book or play a Gameboy makes dinner time much less stressful.
3. Regularly Scheduled Snacks – this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has kept a human alive for long (yourself included) but regularly scheduled food and water breaks make life easier. While traveling to see aunties and do some shopping it’s easy to forget that Hangry is a bad look on everyone. A basket of mandarin oranges, some jars of nuts, yogurt in the fridge, and pre-cut veggie sticks make great impromptu meals for the cousins that decided to surprise you at 2 in the afternoon while driving through town, and they keep the kids from killing each other. If you’re traveling make sure to pack water bottles and snacks, even if you’re just going downtown for last minute shopping.
4. Plan Some Activities – as counter-intuitive as it sounds, having some pre-set activities on the schedule makes things easier for everyone. It gives your extrovert something to look forward, and it helps your introverts, kids with social anxiety, and everyone with sensory issues plan ahead. Sledding on Monday, the kid’s museum on Thursday, and Friday is a movie marathon. There’s still time for spontaneous play and you’re less likely to get to the end of your holiday break wondering why you didn’t do that one thing you really love.
5. Use An Extrovert As A Human Shield – there’s a misconception among some introverts that extroverts are all loud, athletic, and inclined to talk about the weather, that’s not at all true, but I bet you know one person (or are that person) who loves chatting with strangers. Use that person. If you are that person, go ahead and scout the ground before any parties and get conversation starters for your introverts. I know my kids are a lot happier when I can tell them, “We’re going to the neighbor’s, their son likes Minecraft and LEGOs.” It means they already have something safe to talk about and they don’t have to try to wade through any social awkwardness trying to figure out what they have in common.
6. Have An Escape Plan – no matter how well you plan there will inevitably be a holiday meltdown. Maybe the kids didn’t sleep well. Maybe your partner is coming down with a cold. Maybe you’re done grinding your teeth and need to leave before you tell Uncle Bobby what you really think of the used scratch-off lotto ticket he bought you. Have a pre-set excuse and a code word for everyone in your party. Me? I leave my bedtime alarm on. At 7:30 it goes off and I can either laugh it off and tell everyone I forgot to turn it off, or I can say, “Ooops! Got to get everyone home and off to bed!” I turn into a pumpkin at 8pm and at 9 I turn into a gremlin who watches cheap action movies. The bedtime alarm keeps everyone from hearing about how much I love Tremors when I’m sleep deprived.

What about you?

What are your tips for getting through the holidays?